Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
