It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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