i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Randomize
