idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
