In the future we'll all be gay
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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