She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
