I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
