Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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