wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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