dude i'm inner monologue high
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
