i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
