she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize