Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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