I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
