But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
