it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
did i just pee glitter
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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