He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
