Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
