I'd wear matching sweaters with you
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Randomize
