I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
