Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
