Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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