Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
