She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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