Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
