remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
