I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you didnt know i had herpes?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
