Duck Duck Cougar?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
now i know why i became what i already was.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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