I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
