I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
