Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
