If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
