I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
