just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
