Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
