You just made me feel so damn special
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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