I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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