she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
