i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
