He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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