Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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