What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
