Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't think brook has ever known best
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
