My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
