I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Panties = found
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
