party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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