i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
is it fun? or sober?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize