So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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