You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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