That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
