I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
