the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
