Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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