In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
