I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
