I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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