We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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