He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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