he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
