Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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