I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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