Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
