Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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