If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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